As requested in Episode 12, here are all the questions that Tom has asked during the first dozen P-Bams (as tirelessly catalogued by listener and ledge Zoe Fell)…

pappyspodcasts:

PBAM 1 – Coup De Grace

Can octopuses breathe out of water?

Tom: Give me Mein Kampf, my favourite novel

Cosby: It’s not a novel. I don’t know if you’ve read Mein Kampf, but it’s not a novel.

Tom: Oh, isn’t it?

Crosby: No.

Tom: Oh.

I bought a pumice stone yesterday – can you pumice your way down a shoe size?

PBAM 2 – Son of Catnip

Who’s the best martyr? Is there like, a martyr club?

Earth, Wind and Fire, right. Were they three guys, one nicknamed Earth, one nicknamed Wind and the other one Fire?

Would a shark on land be a little bit like a… I imagine it’d be a cross between a sausage dog and a rotweiller. 

Fight or flight – how come they are the only two options?

PBAM 3 – Three Plastic Honkers

Imagine how dry you’d be if you worked in a talc factory…?

So is there a rivalry? Is the re a talcum powder factory on one side of the road, hot bath factory on the other?

What’s the word for omnipotent?

PBAM 4 – Merry Christmas Everyone

If you lived in Downton Abbey, could you, and a small team of people, play… say…The Bells of St Clements from being in different rooms?

Every girl’s a daughter, aren’t they? You don’t need to be with your Mum to be a daughter…everyone’s a daughter…if you’re female…

When a girl becomes a Mum, does she give up being a daughter?

Who was the actor whose party piece was to go and stand behind a curtain, and people would shout out emotions and he’d display them on his face…for like a minute?

PBAM 5 – Speaking of Backs

If you shave anything enough, it grows hair, isn’t it?

Is there nun prison?

“Oh, lades let me tell you – when I was in Morocco…” is that what a cad sounds like?

PBAM 6 – Entre-Pur-Pur

What if you think of the rat as a squirrel with no tail?

What if you think of dragons as dogs with wings?

Dragons don’t exist, do they?

Cats are a bit disturbing aren’t they, cause they’re sexy?

Do you think in 5 or 10 years time with all this global crisis we’re in, we’ll all be like Top Cat? Like, street dwelling entrepreneurs?

Is it morbid to ask how you’d prefer to die?

PBAM 7 – T-Bone Walks Alone

If you love life, do you either live it to the full, or do you protect your life?

Are leeks the flowers of the vegetable world?

Tom: Pride’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins, isn’t it?

Ben/Crosby: Yeah.

Tom: So maybe that’s the way I should work? Is that, you should know that they say that pride comes before a fall?  Maybe every sin should come before a fall?

Pied Piper’s a strange tale when you think about it, isn’t it?

PBAM 8 – The Hidden Prrrp

Robins don’t just come out at Christmas, do they? Hibernate the rest of the year…they only live in England in December…

Society as a whole does wanna bang, doesn’t it?

Have you ever fake sleeped because you didn’t want to be in bed with someone?

Isn’t it weird that people had little, small doors 100 years ago?

So…a beanstalk…how exaggerated is that?

What’s the correct face to make when you fart really loudly at the urinal?

Tom: What’s the correct length of a play?

Crosby: We’re not having this discussion now, there is no correct length of a play.

PBAM 9 – Marcus Told Me

What do you think about me as a rapper? I’ve got lyrical dexterity, haven’t I?

PBAM 10 – Baggsy, Foggy, Dude

Have you ever sat in a bath?

Whose idea was it to sing Auld Lang Syne?

Can you hear that blink?

PBAM 11 – Cheers Everyone, Bye

Have you got, like a local…place?

Are there any other famous people who could be walking down the thing that they’re named after? (ref: Spiral Staircase)

Do they eat Arctic Roll in the Arctic?

PBAM 12 – Grin of Grimace

Is Denmark in Norway?

Are pygmies bigamists?

What inanimate object would you choose as your companion?

Louis Armstrong didn’t play the piano, did he?

Is a musical instrument an inanimate object?

this podcast.


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You ask that? You, who killed your mother to come into the world? You are an ill-made, devious, disobedient, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men’s laws give you right to bear my name and display my colors, since I cannot prove that you are not mine. To teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father’s sigil and his father’s before him. But neither gods nor men shall ever compel me to turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse.

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